Camel questions (骆驼回答)
A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mon why have I got these huge three toed feet?"The mother replies," Well son, when we[color=Red] trek [/color]across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand."
"OK!" syas athe son. A few minutes later sthe son asks," Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?"
"They are there to keep the sand out of your yeys on the trips through the desert." the camel mother anwers.
"Thanks Mom!" replies the son. After a short while, the son returns and asks," Mom, why have I got these great big [color=Red]humps[/color] on my back?"
The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, "They are there to help us store water for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without drinking for long periods."
"That's great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water, but ...Mom?"
"Yes son?"
"Why the[color=Red] heck [/color]are we in the San Diego zoo?'
参考翻译：
一只雌骆驼正和它的孩子交谈．小骆驼问：＂妈妈，我们的脚为什么这么大，还长着三个脚趾？＂
雌骆驼回答：＂孩子，因为这样我们穿越沙漠的时候就不会陷入流沙了．＂
＂原来是这样．＂小骆驼说．几分钟后，小骆驼又问：＂妈妈，我们的睫毛怎么这么长？＂
＂因为在沙漠中旅行时，长睫毛可以防止沙子掉进我们的眼睛．＂雌骆驼回答．
＂谢谢妈妈．＂小骆驼说．又过了一小会儿，小骆驼跑过来又问：＂妈妈，我们背上为什么长着这些大驼峰？＂
雌骆驼有点不耐烦地回答：＂因为驼峰可以帮助我们储水，即使长时间不喝水我们也能生存．＂
＂太棒了，妈妈．我们有大脚使我们不会陷入流沙，有长睫毛为眼睛挡住风沙，又有驼峰储水，但是，妈妈．．．＂
＂怎么啦，儿子？＂
＂那我们待在圣迭哥的动物园干嘛？＂
注释：
1. trek: vi. 牛拉车, 艰苦跋涉; vt. （牛）拉（货车）, 搬, 运; n. 牛拉车旅行, 艰苦跋涉
2. hump: n. 驼峰, 驼背, 小园丘, 峰丘; v. (使)隆起, 弓起
3. heck: n. [英口]地狱(hell的委婉说法, 用以加强语气或咒骂)
e.g.: What the heck ? (你讲)什么鬼东西?
Good sale (卖得好)
When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk's hand was [color=Red]bandaged[/color], but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk said he had some very good news for him." Guess what, sir?" the clerk said. "I finally sold that terrible ugly suit we've had so long!"
" Do you mean that [color=Red]repulsive[/color] pink-and-blue [color=Red]double-breasted [/color]thing?" the manager asked.
" That's the one!"
" That's great!" the manager cried " I thought we'd never get rid of that [color=Red]monstrosity[/color]! that had to be the ugliest suit we've ever had!
but tell me. Why is your had bandaged?"
" Oh," the clerk replied," after I sold the guy the suit, his guide dog bit me."
参考翻译：
商店经理吃完饭回到店里，发现店员受上缠着绷带．他还没来得及问，店员就对他说有好消息要告诉他．
＂先生，猜猜看，什么事？＂店员说，＂我终于把那件这么久都没有售出的丑陋衣服卖出去了！＂
＂你说的是双排纽扣、粉蓝相间的那件？＂经理问．
＂就是那件！＂
＂太棒了！＂经理大叫，＂我还以为怎么也卖不出去呢！那可是我见过的最难看的衣服！但是请告诉我，你的手怎么缠上绷带了？＂
＂噢，＂店员回答，＂等我把东西卖给那人之后，他的导盲犬咬了我一口．＂
注释：
1. bandage: n. 绷带; v. 用绷带包扎
2. repulsive: adj. 推斥的, 排斥的, 严拒的, 令人厌恶的
3. double-breasted: adj. 双排钮扣的, 对襟的
4. monstrosity: n. 畸形
Last request (最后的要求)
[color=Red]Tragically[/color], three friends die in a car crash, and they find themselves at the gates of heaven. Before entering, they are each asked a question by St. Peter." When you are in your [color=Red]casket[/color] and friends and family are [color=Red]mourning[/color] upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?" asks St. Peter.
The first guy says:" I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."
The second guy says:" I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."
The last guy replies:" I would like to hear them say:' Look! He's moving!'"
参考翻译：
三个朋友不幸在一次车祸中丧生．他们来到了天堂的门口，圣．彼得在他们进去之前问了他们同一个问题．
＂当你们躺在棺材里，朋友和家人都在问你们痛苦，你们最想听他们说什么？＂圣．彼得问。
第一个人回答：＂我希望他们会说我是一个好医生，也是一个好亲人．＂
第二个人回答：＂我希望他们会说我是个好丈夫，也是一个为我们孩子带来改变的好老师．＂
最后一个则说：＂我希望他们在说：‘看，他在动！’＂
注释：
1. tragically: adv. 悲剧地, 悲惨地
2. casket: n. 首饰盒, 匣子, <美>棺材
3. mourn: v. 哀悼, 忧伤, 服丧
Old break up (老夫妻离婚)
An elderly man and his wife decided to [color=Red]separate[/color]. Before being allowed to do so[color=Red] legally[/color], the Family Court insisted they [color=Red]undergo[/color] some [color=Red]counseling[/color] from the marriage guidance mob, to see if their union could be saved. The counselor did her best, but to no avail. The old folk were absolutely determined to go through with separation leading to [color=Red]divorce[/color]. Finally, in some desperation, the counselor said:" But you're 95 and your wife is 93. You've been married for 72 years! Why do you want to separate now?" To which the wife replied:" We haven't been able to stand each other for the last 46 years. But we thought we should wait until all the children died before we[color=Red] split up[/color]."参考翻译：
一位老人和他的妻子决定离婚．法庭在判决他们正式离婚之前，坚持要求他们听听婚姻指导顾问的建议．那位顾问使尽全力，仍然无法说服二人放弃离婚．最后，顾问绝望地问：＂您都已经９５岁了，您太太也有９３岁了．你们结婚已经整整７３年了！为什么要在这个时候结束你们的婚姻？＂妻子回答：＂我们４６年前就厌倦了对方了，只是觉得最好等孩子们都去世了再离．＂
注释：
1. separate: adj. 分开的, 分离的, 个别的, 单独的; v. 分开, 隔离, 分散, 分别
e.g.: She was separated from her husband last year. 去年她和丈夫离婚了.
2. legally: adv. 法律上, 合法地
legal: adj. 法律的, 法定的, 合法
3. undergo (underwent, undergone): vt. 经历, 遭受, 忍受
4. counseling: n. (对个人,社会以及心理等问题的)咨询服务
counselor: n. 顾问, 法律顾问
5. divorce: n. 离婚, 脱离; vt.使离婚, 与...脱离
6. split up: 分裂
The last day working (即将失业)
You Know It's Your Last Day At Work When...A woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say," I waited on the last fat ugly old lady. This one is your turn." Your boss is standing behind you. It's his wife.
While your boss is at lunch, you [color=Red]sneak[/color] in and look at some [color=Red]confidential [/color]information on his computer. You spill coffee on the keyboard. It shorts out.
You return from a week's vacation to find that you had scheduled this week as vacation, not last week.
You take a "sick" day. The next morning the boss asks you:" So, how was the fishing on Rock Creak yesterday?"
参考翻译：
你即将失业，如果．．．
一个女士走进商店，而你正对另一个店员说：＂上一个又老又丑的女人是我服侍的，这个轮到你了．＂你老板就站在你身后，而这个女人是他太太．
老板正在用午餐，于是你溜进他的办公室偷看电脑里的机密信息．你不小心把咖啡洒到键盘上，然后电脑短路了．
你外出度假一周，回来后发现你的假期安排在这周，而不是上周．
你请了一天病假，第二天上班时老板问你：＂你昨天在石溪钓鱼钓得怎么样？＂
注释：
1. sneak: vi. 鬼鬼祟祟做事; vt. 偷偷摸摸地做, <口>偷窃
n. 鬼鬼祟祟的人, 偷偷摸摸的行为, <美口>帆布胶底运动鞋
adj. 暗中进行的
2. confidential: adj. 秘密的, 机密的
Divorce (离婚)
An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son Bob in New York and says:" I hate to [color=Red]ruin[/color] your day, but your mother and I are [color=Red]divorcing[/color]. Forty-five years of misery is enough! I'm sick of her, and I'm sick of talking about this, so call your sister in Boston and tell her." and then hangs up.The son [color=Red]frantically[/color] calls his sister, who goes nuts upon hearing the news. She calls her father and yells:" You are not getting a divorce! Bob and I will be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a single thing, do you hear me?"
The father hangs up the phone, turns to his wife, and says:" It worked! The kids are coming for a visit, and they're paying their own way!"
参考翻译：
住在凤凰城的一位老人打电话给他在纽约的儿子鲍勃说：＂我不想扫你的兴，但是我和你妈妈就要离婚了．４５年痛苦，我已经受够了！我讨厌她，我也讨厌提起这事，因此还是你打电话到波士顿把这件事告诉你妹妹吧．＂说完挂断电话．
儿子把这事一五一十地告诉了妹妹．她听了之后火冒三丈，打电话给父亲，大声说：＂你们不准离婚！我和鲍勃明天回来．在此之前，你们什么也别做，知道吗？＂
父亲听完挂断了电话，回头对妻子说：＂成功了！两个孩子都要回家了，而且这次花的可是他们自己的钱！＂
注释：
1. ruin: v. (使)破产, (使)堕落, 毁灭; n. 毁灭, 崩溃, 废墟, 遗迹
e.g.: The fire ruined the books in the library. 大火毁坏了图书馆的书。
2. divorce: n. 离婚, 脱离; vt. 使离婚, 与...脱离
3. frantically: adv. 狂暴地, 疯狂似地
Polish paratrooper (波兰伞兵)
A Polish [color=Red]paratrooper[/color] makes his first jump.He was given the following instructions: Once you jumped you need to open your [color=Red]parachute[/color]. If it doesn't open, you have a reserve one. The Jeep will wait for you on the ground.
So, he gets on the plane, jumps outside but can't open his parachute. He then tries to the reserve one, but it doesn't open as well.
"Great," he says to himself," Now all I need is that the Jeep won't wait for me to make it a real unlucky day."
参考翻译：
一名波兰伞兵首次参加跳伞训练．
教官告诉他：跳出飞机后，立即打开你的降落伞．如果打不开，就用备用伞．地面有吉普车等着你们．
就这样他登上了飞机。当他从飞机跳下去之后，降落伞打不开了，备用的也坏了．
＂太糟了，＂他心想，＂希望地上的吉普车别待在下面等我，要不就更惨了．＂
注释：
1. paratrooper: n. 伞兵
2. parachute: n. 降落伞
Drummer problem (鼓手的问题)
A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn't improve.Finally, before the whole [color=Red]orchestra[/color], he said:" When a musician just can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they take away the instrument, and give him two sticks, and make him a drummer."
A stage whisper was heard from the [color=Red]percussion[/color] section:" And if he can't handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a conductor."
参考翻译：
乐队指挥发现一个鼓手的表现十分糟糕．他多次找这位鼓手谈话，但他的表现丝毫没有改进．
最后，他当着整个乐队的面说：＂如果一个音乐家不能用好自己的乐器，而别人的帮助也不能使他改进，那么应该把乐器拿走，给他两跟木棍，让他做鼓手．＂
这时，一个打击乐器手低语道：＂如果连这他也搞不定，就拿走一跟木棍，让他当指挥．＂
注释：
1. orchestra: n. 管弦乐队, 乐队演奏处
2. percussion: n. 打击乐器
Indian chief's signal (印第安酋长的信号)
An Indian chief is driving his Cadillac somewhere at Nevada. Suddenly his car gets broken. He examines it, and [color=Red]reveals[/color] that a technician must be called. But the chief has only $4, and no credit card. So he gathers some wood, makes a fire and[color=Red] signals [/color]his[color=Red] tribe [/color]with its smoke:" Hey, send somebody to my location with $500!" The tribe accepts this signal, but to make sure in its meaning, signals back-once again, with the smoke:" OK, chief, but why so much?"At this moment a ground test of nuclear bomb is being held on the test field nearby. A huge mushroom-like cloud of smoke rises into the sky...The tribe signals:" OK, OK, chief, we just wondered, why to be so angry?"
参考翻译：
某印第安酋长开着他的卡迪拉克行驶在内华达某地．突然他的车抛锚了．他检查了一下，觉得必须叫一个技师来帮他修车．可他身上只带了４美元，也没有信用卡．于是，他找了一堆柴，生起一堆火，用柴烧出的烟向他的部落发出信号：＂嘿，叫人给我送５００美元来！＂部落收到信号后，用烟回发信号以确定收到的信息：＂没问题，但是酋长，您要这么多钱干嘛？＂
正在这时，附近的核试验场正在测试核武器．一朵巨大的蘑菇云升入天空．一会儿他的部落向他发来信号：＂好，好，好，酋长，我们只是想知道而已，您干嘛发那么大火？＂
注释：
1. reveal: vt. 展现, 显示, 揭示, 暴露
revealed a confidence 泄露机密
2. signal: n. 信号; adj. 信号的; v. 发信号, 用信号通知
3. tribe: n. 部落, 部族
Daddy is going to war (爸爸要去参战了)
During the Persian Gulf War, I was[color=Red] assigned [/color]to go to Saudi Arabia. As I was saying good-bye to my family, my three-year-old son, Christopher, was holding on to my leg and [color=Red]pleading[/color] with me not to leave. "No, Daddy, please don't go!" he kept repeating.We were beginning to make a scene when my wife, desperate to calm him, said:" Let Daddy go and I'll take you to get a pizza."
[color=Red]Immediately[/color], Christopher loosened his death grip, stepped back and in a calm voice said:" Bye, Daddy."
参考翻译：
海湾战争期间，我被派往沙特阿拉伯．在与家人告别时，三岁的儿子克里斯托佛抱着我的腿，哀求我不要离去．＂别走，爸爸，请不要离开！＂他不断地说．
妻子怎么也无法让他平静下来，场面极其混乱，于是她说：＂让爸爸走，妈妈带你去吃披萨．＂
听到这个，克里斯托佛立即松开双手，后退一步，平静地说：＂爸爸再见．＂:'(
注释：
1. assign: vt. 分配, 指派
e.g.: The hardest work was assigned to the strongest laborers. 最繁重的工作分配给最强壮的劳工。
n. assignment 分配, 委派, 任务, (课外)作业
2. plead: vi. 辩护, 恳求; vt. 为...辩护, 借口, 托称
3. immediately: adv. 立即, 马上, 直接地
Misunderstanding terms (误解术语)
One reason the Services have trouble operating [color=Red]jointly[/color] is that they don't speak the same language.For example, if you told Navy [color=Red]personnel [/color]to "secure a building", they would turn off the lights and lock the doors. Army personnel would occupy the building so no one could enter. Marines would [color=Red]assault[/color] the building, capture it, and defend it with [color=Red]suppressive [/color]fire and close [color=Red]combat[/color]. The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.
参考翻译：
军队联合行动遇到的最大麻烦在于他们的用语不同．
比如，＂保护一座大楼＂对海军来说就是把等熄灭，把门锁上；对陆军来说意味着要占领大楼，使其他人无法进入；对海军陆战队来说则是要攻击大楼，占领它，然后以压倒性火力死守；然而，空军的做法很不相同，他们会将其出租，并且预先找到三年后的买主．
注释：
1. jointly: adv. 共同地, 连带地
2. personnel: n. 人员, 职员
3. assault: n. 攻击, 袭击; v. 袭击
4. suppressive: adj. 抑制的, 镇压的
5. combat: n. 战斗, 格斗; v. 战斗, 搏斗, 抗击
6. lease: n. 租借, 租约, 租赁物, 租期, 延续的一段时间; vt. 出租, 租出, 租得
Military Etiquette (军中礼节)
Officer: Soldier, do you have [color=Red]change[/color] for a dollar?Soldier: Sure, [color=Red]buddy[/color].
Officer: That's no way to [color=Red]address[/color] an officer! Now let's try it again. Do you have change for a dollar?
Soldier: No, SIR!
参考翻译：
军官：＂军士，有一美元零钱吗？＂
士兵：＂有的，伙计．＂
军官：＂对军官不能这样说话！重来！你有一美元零钱吗？＂
士兵：＂没有，长官！＂
注释：
1. etiquette: n. 礼节
2. change: n. 改变, 变化, 转变, 找回的零钱, 找头, 辅币; vt. 改变, 变革, 改造, 兑换
3. buddy: n. <美口>密友, 伙伴
4. address: n. 地址, 致辞, 演讲, 说话的技巧; vt. 向...致辞, 演说, 写姓名地址, 从事, 忙于
Soldier stands guard (哨兵)
A new soldier was on [color=Red]sentry[/color] duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special [color=Red]sticker[/color] on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said:” Halt, who goes there?”The [color=Red]chauffeur[/color], a [color=Red]corporal[/color], said: “General Wheeler.”
“I’m sorry, I can’t let you through. You have got to have a sticker on the windshield.”
The general said: “Drive on!”
The sentry said: “Hold it! You really can’t come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker.”
The general repeated, “I’m telling you, son, drive on!”
The sentry walked up to the rear window and said: “General, I’m new at this. Do I shoot you or the driver?”
参考翻译：
一个新兵被安排在大门站岗。他的任务很简单，除非挡风玻璃上帖有特殊标签，否则不能通行。一辆军车载着将军驶来。哨兵：“停车，谁在里面？”
下士司机：“惠勒将军。”
“抱歉，我不能让你们通行。你们挡风玻璃上没有帖标签。”
将军说：“开过去。”
哨兵：“别动！你们真的不能通行。我接到命令向无标签闯入的人开枪。
将军（对司机）说：“听到没有，开过去！”
哨兵走到车窗旁：“将军，我是新来的，请问我是向您还是司机开枪？”
注释：
1. sentry: n. 岗哨
2. sticker: n. 粘附物
3. chauffeur: n. <法>司机
4. corporal: n. <美>下士
A young naval student (海军学员)
A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain."What would you do if a sudden storm [color=Red]sprang[/color] up on the [color=Red]starboard[/color]?"
"Throw out an [color=Red]anchor[/color], sir." the student replied.
"What would you do if another storm sprang up after?"
"Throw out another anchor, sir."
"And if another terrific storm sprang up forward, what would you do then?" asked the captain.
"Throw out another anchor, sir."
"Hold on," said the captain."Where are you getting all those anchors from?"
"From the same place you're getting your storms, sir."
参考翻译：
一个年轻的海军学员正在接受海军上校的训练．
＂如果突遇暴风雨该怎么办？＂
＂把锚抛进水中，长官．＂学员回答．
＂如果紧接着又来了一场暴风雨呢？＂
＂再抛一只锚，长官．＂
＂如果另外一场非常剧烈的暴风雨就要来临，又该怎么办？＂上校问他．
＂再抛一只锚，长官．＂
＂等一下＂，上校说，＂你这么多锚从哪儿来？＂
＂您的暴风雨从哪来的，我的锚就是从哪来的，长官．＂
注释：
1. spring (sprang,sprung): n. 春天, 跃起, 泉, 弹簧, 发条, 弹性, 弹力, 根源; v. 跳, 跃, 跃出, 使跳跃, 使爆炸, 触发
2.starboard: n. 右舷
3. anchor: n. 锚; v. 抛锚, 锚定
New submarine ensign (新潜艇少尉)
The new [color=Red]ensign[/color] was [color=Red]assigned[/color] to subs, where he'd dreamed of working since a young boy. He was trying to impress the Master of Chief with his [color=Red]expertise[/color] learned in Submarine School. The Master cut him off quickly and said:" Listen, sir, it's real simple. Add the number of times we dive to the number of times we surface. Divide that number by two. If the result doesn't come out even, don't open the [color=Red]hatch[/color]."参考翻译：
新来的海军少尉被分配到潜艇上服役，这是他自幼梦想的地方．他不断卖弄潜艇学院所授的知识，试图得到长官的赏识．长官很快打断了他：＂听着，先生，事情非常简单．把我们在水平上的次数和在水下面的次数相加．然后除以２，如果不能除尽的话，别打开舱门．
注释：
1. ensign: n. 旗, 军舰旗, 军旗, 徽章, <美>海军少尉
2. assign: vt. 分配, 指派
e.g.: The hardest work was assigned to the strongest laborers. 最繁重的工作分配给最强壮的劳工。
3. expertise: n. 专家的意见, 专门技术
4. hatch: n. 孵化, 舱口, 舱口盖, (门、墙壁、地板上的)开口; vt. 孵, 孵出, 策划, 图谋; vi. 孵化
Valid identification (有效认证)
During a readiness exercise, my friend Jim and I, Air Force security policemen, were guarding entry to a [color=Red]bunker[/color]-like structure where [color=Red]aircrafts[/color] were kept.When a polit about to do a preflight check approached without his[color=Red] identification [/color]in plain view, Jim asked him for it. "I don't see why I hve to show you my ID," the polit [color=Red]snapped[/color], "After all, it is my plane."
"Sir, with all due respect, it may be your plane," replied Jim, "but it's sitting in my garage!"
参考翻译：
我和朋友吉姆都是空军的安全警察．在一次预备演习中，我俩负责看守停放战机的仓库．
一个飞行员准备进入走飞前检查，但未将身份证件戴在胸前．于是，吉姆请他出示．那家伙却说：＂我不明白为什么要向你出示我的证件，这飞机可是我的．＂
＂长官，这飞机可能是您的＂，吉姆回答，＂但是它停在我的机库里．
注释：
1. bunker: n. 船上的煤仓, 碉堡, 掩体, 燃料舱
2. aircraft: n. 飞机，航行器
3. identification: n. 辨认, 鉴定, 证明, 视为同一
4. snap: v. 猛地吸住, 突然折断, 使劈啪地晌, 猛咬, 呵斥
Brag about daddy (拿父亲吹牛)
An Army [color=Red]brat[/color] was boasting about his father to a Navy brat."My dad is an engineer. He can do everything. Do you know the Alps?"
"Yes." said the Navy brat.
"My dad has built them."
The the naval kid spoke:" And do you know the Dead Sea?"
"Yes."
"It's my dad who's killed it!"
参考翻译：
一个陆军士兵向一个海军士兵吹嘘自己的父亲．
＂我爸爸是个工程师．他什么都能做到．知道阿尔卑斯山吗？＂
＂知道．＂海军士兵回答．
＂那是我爸爸修建的．＂
然后海军士兵说：＂那你知道死海吗？＂
＂知道．＂
＂那是我爸爸杀死的．＂
注释：
1. brat: n. 小鬼，小家伙，小孩
Bring some more ammo (多带点子弹)
The [color=Red]company commander [/color]saw the results of [color=Red]Private [/color]Gibbson's Firing exercise and his face fell. The private exclaimed [color=Red]plaintively[/color]:" Sir, I think I am going to [color=Red]commit suicide [/color]by shooting myself.""By shooting?" asked the company commander," Not a bad idea! But take as many [color=Red]cartridges[/color] as possible."
参考翻译：
连长看过士兵吉普森的射击记录后，脸上露出不快的表情．士兵痛苦地说：＂长官，我真想用枪打死自己．＂
＂用枪？＂连长说，＂这是个不错的主意！但得多带点子弹．＂
注释：
1. company commander: n. 连长
2. private: adj. 私人的, 私有的, 私营的, 秘密的; n. 士兵
3. plaintively:adv. 悲哀的, 哀伤的
4. commit suicide: 自杀
5. cartridge: n. 弹药筒
Immortality (长生不老)
I recently picked a new [color=Red]primary[/color] care physician. After two visits and [color=Red]exhaustive[/color] lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age. A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him:" Do you think I'll live to be 80?"He asked:" Well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer/wine?"
"Oh, no," I replied," I've never done either."
Then he asked:" Do you eat rare steaks and [color=Red]barbecued[/color] ribs?"
I said:" No, I've heard that all red meat is very unhealthy!"
" Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, ballooning, or rock climbing?"
" No, I don't."
" Do you gamble, drive fast cars?"
" No," I said," I've never done any of those things."
He looked at me and said:" Then what do you do if you live to be 80?"
参考翻译：
我最近换了一个新的基础保健医生．在两次就诊和多次仔细地试验测试以后，他说在我这个年纪我的身体机能十分好．对这样的评论感到有一点点担忧，我禁不住问他道：＂你觉得我会活到８０岁吗？＂
他问我：＂恩，你抽烟喝酒吗？＂
＂噢，不，＂我回答说：＂我从不抽烟喝酒．＂
然后他又问：＂你吃不熟的牛排和烧烤的肋骨么？＂
我说：＂不，我听说过所有的带血的肉都不健康！＂
＂你花很多时间在日光下活动么，像打高尔夫球，航海，气球飞行或攀岩？＂
＂不，我没有．＂
＂你赌博吗？飙车吗？＂
＂不，＂我说，＂我从来不做这些事情．＂
他看着我说：＂那么你要活到８０岁干什么？＂
注释：
1. primary: adj. 第一位的, 主要的, 初步的, 初级的, 原来的, 根源的
2. exhaustive: adj. 无遗漏的, 彻底的, 详尽的, 无遗的
3. barbecue: n. 吃烤烧肉的野餐
Let's see the world （洞悉世界）
Two [color=Red]dogfaces[/color] were digging a [color=Red]foxhole[/color]."What made you join the Army?" asked one.
"Well, I read one of the posters that said: Join the Army and see the world! And I've been doing it— a [color=Red]shovelful[/color] at a time."
参考翻译：
两个步兵正在挖散兵坑。
“你为什么要参军？”一个问。
“因为我看到征兵海报上说：加入陆军，洞悉人世！现在我一直在干这事儿——每挖一铲就看一次。”
注释：
1. dogface: n. <俚> 小兵(尤指步兵)
2. foxhole: n. [军]散兵坑
3. shovelful: n. 一铲之量
shovel: n. 铲, 铁铲; v. 铲 由于工作原因近期不会上网，笑话故事待续．．．
大家如果有好的故事也传上来一起分享吧！:D
How you earned it (你如何赚钱)
A young man asked an old rich man how he made his money.The old guy fingered his [color=Red]worsted[/color] wool [color=Red]vest[/color] and said:" Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great [color=Red]Depression[/color]. I was down to my last [color=Red]nickel[/color]."
"I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and ,at the end of the day, I sold the apple for two cents."
"The next morning, I invested those then cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd [color=Red]accumulated [/color]a [color=Red]fortune[/color] of $1.37."
"Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."
参考翻译：
一个年轻人问一个老富翁是如何聚集财富的．
老人指着自己的精纺羊毛背心说：＂孩子，那是在１９３２年，正当大萧条时期最艰苦的时刻．我身上只剩下５美分．＂
＂我用那５美分投资买了一个苹果，然后花了一整天时间把它擦得发亮，最后以１０美分卖了出去．＂
＂第二天早上，我又用这１０美分买了两个苹果，花了一整天把它们擦亮．下午５点种，我他它们卖了出去，得到２０美分．如此下去，到了月末我累积到了１．３７美元．＂
＂然后，我岳父死了，给我们留下了两百万美元．＂
注释：
1. worsted: n. 精纺毛纱,精纺毛料服装; adj. 精纺的
2. vest: n. 汗衫, 背心, 内衣; vt. 使穿衣服, 授予; vi. 穿衣服, 归属
3. depression: n. 沮丧, 消沉, 低气压, 低压
4. nickel: n. [化]镍, 镍币, (美国和加拿大的)五分镍币; vt. 镀镍于
5. accumulate: v. 积聚, 堆积
6. fortune: n. 财富, 运气, 大量财产, 好运, 命运
Requesting a three-day pass(想请三天假)
An Israeli soldier who just [color=Red]enlisted[/color] asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.The CO said:"Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something [color=Red]spectacular[/color] for that [color=Red]recognition[/color]!"
So the soldier came back a day later in an Arab tank!
The CO was so impressed, he asked:" How did you do it?"
"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I [color=Red]approached[/color] the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, 'Do you want to get a three-day pass?' So we exchanged tanks."
参考翻译：
刚刚入伍的一名以色列士兵向指挥官请三天假．指挥官说：＂你疯了吗？你刚刚加入以色列军队，就想请三天假？你必须做出点成绩来才有资格！＂
于是，第二天这个士兵开着一辆阿拉伯坦克回来了！
指挥官大吃一惊，问道：＂你怎么做到的？＂
＂恩，我跳进一架坦克，向阿拉伯边界线开去，快到边界线的时候我看见一辆阿拉伯坦克．于是我竖起白旗，阿拉伯坦克也竖起白旗．我对那个阿拉伯士兵说：‘你想请三天假吗？’于是我们交换了坦克！＂
注释：
1. enlist: v. 征募, 谋取(支持、赞助等), 应募, 赞助, 支持, 征召, 参军
2. spectacular: adj. 引人入胜的, 壮观的
3. recognition: n. 赞誉, 承认, 重视, 公认, 赏识
4. approach: n. 接近, 逼近, 走进, 方法, 步骤, 途径, 通路; vt. 接近, 动手处理; vi. 靠近
Bragging about old times (为过去吹牛)
Two men were [color=Red]boasting[/color] to each other about their old army days." Why, my [color=Red]outfit[/color] was so well [color=Red]drilled[/color]," declared one," thay when they [color=Red]presented arms [/color]all you could hear was slap, slap, click."
" Very good," [color=Red]conceded[/color] the other, "but when my company presented arms you'd just hear slap, slap, jingle."
" What was the jngle?" asked the first. "Oh," replied the other offhand, " just our medals."
参考翻译：
两个人在互相吹嘘他们曾经的军旅生活．
一个人说：＂唔，我的人都是训练有素的，他们举枪致敬的时候，你只听见啪，啪，咔．＂
＂很好，＂另一个肯定道，＂我的连队举枪致敬的时候，你只能听见啪，啪，叮．＂
＂这‘叮’是什么？＂第一个人问．另一个人不假思索地说：＂噢，只是我们的勋章．＂
注释：
1. boast: n. 自夸, 值得夸耀的事物; v. 自夸, 以有...而自豪
2. outfit: n. 用具, 配备, 机构, 全套装配, vt. 配备, 装备; vi. 得到装备
3. drill: n. 钻孔机, 钻子, 播种机, 军事训练, 操练, (反复)练习, 条播机; v. 训练, 钻孔, 条播
4. present arms: n. 举枪致敬
5. concede: vt. 勉强, 承认, 退让; vi. 让步
Car theft (偷车)
Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman. Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She [color=Red]obliged[/color] him and let him do his thing.Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling:" Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!"
"Dear God! Did you try to stop him?"
"No," she said," I did better than that! I got the licence plate number!"
参考翻译：
奥斯卡开着他崭新的奔驰车去他最钟爱的运动商店．他把车停在商店门外，走进店里，和简稍作寒暄，简是他固定的销售员，一个漂亮的金发女郎．见奥斯卡进来，她愉快地跟他打招呼，但是他要求今天先自己随便看看．她同意便让他自己随便看．
五分钟后，简跑过来，对他大叫道：＂奥斯卡！奥斯卡！我看见有人开走了你的新奔驰！＂
＂我的上帝！你没有试着阻止他？＂
＂我有啊，＂她说，＂我做得更好！我把车牌号码记下来了！＂
注释：
1. oblige: vt. 恩惠于; 答应...的请求, 使满足
First operation (第一次手术)
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on [color=Red]stretchers[/color] next to each other, outside the operating room.The first kid leans over and asks:" What are you in here for?"
The second kid says:" I'm in here to get my [color=Red]tonsils[/color] out and I'm a little nervous."
The first kid says:" You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a [color=Red]breeze[/color]!"
The second kid then asks:" What are you here for?"
The first kid says:" A [color=Red]circumcision[/color]."
And the second kid says:" Whoa! I had that done when I was born. I couldn't walk for a year!"
参考翻译：
两个小孩躺在医院里相邻的两张担架上，等在手术室外面．
一个孩子凑过来，问道：＂你在这儿做什么呢？＂
另一个孩子说：＂我来这儿割扁桃体的，我觉得有点紧张．＂
第一个孩子说：＂你完全不用担心．我四岁的时候就做过了．他们让你睡着了，等你醒来之后，他们就给你许多果冻和冰淇淋．那很轻松！＂
第二个孩子又问：＂你来这儿做什么呢?"
第一个孩子说:"包皮环切."
第二个孩子说:"哇,我刚生下来就做过了.我有一年没法走路."
注释:
1. stretcher: n. 担架, 延伸器
2. tonsil: n. [解] 扁桃腺
3. breeze: n. 微风, 煤屑, 焦炭渣, 轻而易举的事, 小风波; vi. 吹微风, 逃走
4. circumcision: n. [宗]割礼, [医]包皮环切(术); (身心)净化
Three blondes and a wish (三个金发女郎和一个愿望)
There are three blondes washed up on an island. Suddenly a [color=Red]fairy[/color] appears and offers to [color=Red]grant[/color] each one of them one wish.The first blonde asks to be intelligent. [color=Red]Instantly[/color], she is turned into a brown haired woman and she swims off the island.
The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the [color=Red]previous[/color] one, so instantly she is turned into a [color=Red]ravishing[/color] redhead. The redhead builds a boat and sails off the island.
The third blonde asks to become even more intelligent than the previous two. The fairy turns her into a black haired woman, and she walks across the bridge.
参考翻译：
三个金发女郎被冲到一个岛上．突然，一个仙女出现了，要帮她们每个人实现一个愿望．
第一个金发女郎想要变聪明．一下子，她变成了一个棕发女人，于是她游泳离开了小岛．
第二个女人想要变得比前一个更聪明．一下子，她变成了一个引人注目的红发女人．她造了一艘船然后划船离开了小岛．
第三个女人想要变得比前两个都聪明．仙女把她变成一个黑发女人，于是她从桥上走了过去．
注释：
1. fairy: n. 仙女, 精灵, <美俚>漂亮姑娘; adj. 仙女的
2. grant: vt. 同意, 准予, 承认(某事为真)～
3. instantly: adv. 立即地, 即刻地
4. previous: adj. 在前的, 早先的; adv. 在...以前
5. ravishing: adj. 引人入胜的
The blonde and the cute sheep (金发女郎和可爱的山羊)
Once upon a time, a blonde became so sick of hearing blonde jokes that she had her hair cut and [color=Red]dyed[/color] brown. A few days later, as she was out driving around the countryside, she stopped her car to let a[color=Red] flock [/color]of sheep pass.Admiring the cute wooly [color=Red]creatures[/color], she said to the shepherd.:" If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one?"
The [color=Red]shepherd[/color], always the gentleman, said:"Sure!"
The blonde thought for a moment and, for no[color=Red] discernible [/color]reason, siad:"352"
This being the correct number, the shepherd was, understandably, totally amazed, and exclaimed," You're right!O.K., I'll keep to my end of the deal. Take your pick of my flock."
The blonde carefully considered the entire flock and finally picked the one that was by far cuter and more playful than any of the others. When she was done, the shepherd turned to her and said:" O.K., now I have a proposition for you.l If I can guess your true hair color, can I have my dog back?"
参考翻译：
从前，一个金发女人特别讨厌听金发笑话，于是她把自己的头发剪短并染成棕色．几天之后，她开车去了乡下．她把车停下来，让一群样过去．
她很喜欢这些毛茸茸的可爱动物，于是对牧羊人说：＂如果我可以猜出你有多少只羊，我可以拿走一只吗？＂
牧羊人很绅士，说道：＂好啊！＂
金发女人想了一会儿，然后莫名其妙地说：＂３５２只．＂
答对了！牧羊人很通情达理，也非常惊讶，他惊呼道：＂你答对!好吧，我会兑现我的诺言的．你挑一只带走吧．＂
金发女郎很认真地打量着羊群，最后她挑了一只最可爱最活泼的．临走的时候，牧羊人转过来对她说：＂好吧，现在我想给你一个建议．如果我能猜出你头发的颜色，我可以把我的狗要回来吗？＂
注释：
1. dye: n. 染料, 染色; vt. 染
2. flock: n. 羊群, (禽、畜等的)群, 大量, 众多; v. 聚结
3. creature: n. 人, 动物, 傀儡, 创造物
4. shepherd: n. 牧羊人, 牧羊狗; v. 牧羊, 看管, 带领
5. discernible: adj. 可辨别的
Oh, Shit! (噢，鸟屎！)
There are three guys. They have been walking for 3 days and are very tired. They find a hotel, rent a room and go to sleep. Then, an old guy comes in out of nowhere, and says there is a magic pool just outside their hotel room. He tells them:" OK, you must jump off the diving board, and yell out what you wanna land in."So the three guys go over to the pool. The first guy, a [color=Red]vegetarian[/color], yells out:" Bananas!" and lands in a pool of bananas. The second guy was money hungry and yells out:"Money!" and lands in a pile of money. The last guy jumps, when a bird shits on his head, and he yells:"Oh, shit!"
参考翻译：
有三个人，他们走了三天，疲惫不堪．这时他们发现了一个旅馆，于是就租了一个房间睡下．这时，不知从哪冒出一个老人，他说有一个神奇的水池就在他们旅馆房间的外面．他告诉他们：＂是的，你只需站在跳水板上喊出你想要跳入的东西．＂
于是，三个人来到池边．第一个人是个素食者，他喊道：＂香蕉！＂接着就跳入香蕉池中．第二个人是个财迷，他喊：＂钱！＂于是就跳入了满是钞票的池子里．第三个人跳的时候，恰好有只鸟将屎拉在了他的脑袋上，于是他喊道：＂哦！鸟屎！＂
注释：
1. vegetarian: n. 素食主义者
Different father (不同的父亲)
A very elderly couple was having an [color=Red]elegant[/color] dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding [color=Red]anniversary[/color]. The old man [color=Red]leaned forward [/color]and said softly to his wife:"Dear, there is something that I must ask you. It has always [color=Red]bothered[/color] me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest of our children. Now I want to assure you that these 75 years have been the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped for, and your answer cannot take that all that away. But I must know, did he have a different father?"The wife dropped her head, unable to look her husband in the eye, she paused for a moment and then [color=Red]confessed[/color]:" Yes, yes he did."
The old man was very shaken, the reality of what his wife was admitting hit him harder than he had expected. With a tear in his eye he asked:"Who? Who was he? Who was the father?"
Again the old woman dropped her head, saying nothing at first as she tried to muster the courage to tell the truth to her husband. Then, finally, she said:"you."
参考翻译：
一对老夫妻在一家高雅的餐厅庆祝他们结婚７５周年．先生向前微倾身体，温柔地对他妻子说：＂亲爱的，我有一个问题一直在困扰我，那就是我们的第１０个孩子同我们其他的孩子一点也不像．现在我想向你保证，这７５年是我未敢期待的人生中最美妙的时光，所以你的回答并不会改变任何事．但是，我必须知道，他和其他孩子的父亲是否不是同一个？＂
妻子垂下了头，不敢看丈夫的眼睛．她顿了一下，然后坦白说：＂是的．＂
老先生非常震惊，她妻子向他承认的事实对他的打击比他意料中的大．他眼中含着泪问道：＂是谁？他是谁？谁是他的父亲？＂
老妇人又一次低下了头，沉默了一会，似乎是要鼓起勇气告诉她丈夫真相．最终，她说：＂是你．＂
注释：
1. elegant: adj. 文雅的, 端庄的, 雅致的, <口>上品的, 第一流的
2. anniversary: n. 周年纪念
3. lean forward: v. 探身过去
4. bother: v. 烦扰, 打扰; n. 麻烦, 烦扰
e.g.: Don't bother me while I am taking my nap. 我小睡的时候不要打扰我。
5. confess: v. 承认, 坦白, 忏悔
e.g.: The suspect confessed to the crime. 嫌疑犯供认了罪行.
A dresser drawer (一个抽屉)
A young couple got married, and the [color=Red]groom[/color] asked his [color=Red]bride[/color] if he could have a dresser drawer of his own that she would never open. The bride agreed. After 30 years of marriage, she noticed that his drawer had been left open. She [color=Red]peeked[/color] inside and saw 3 golf balls and $1,000.She [color=Red]confronted[/color] her husband and asked for an explanation. He explained:" Every time I was unfaithful to you, I put a golf ball in the drawer." She figured 3 times in 30 years wasn't bad and asked:" But what about the $1,000?" He replied:" Whenever I got a dozen golf balls, I sold them."
参考翻译：
一队年轻夫妇刚刚结婚，新郎问新娘，他是否可以在梳妆台上拥有一个妻子不能打开的抽屉．新娘同意了．他们结婚３０年之后的一天妻子发现丈夫的抽屉开着．她向你一瞥，看到了３个高尔夫球和１０００美元．
她询问丈夫，要求他给自己一个解释．他解释道：＂每次我对你不忠，就会放一个高尔夫球在抽屉里．＂她想，３０年有三次不忠也不算糟糕，于是又问：＂那１０００美元呢？＂丈夫回答说：＂每次我攒够了一打球之后，就会把它们卖掉．＂
注释：
1. groom: n. 马夫, 新郎, 男仆; vt. 喂马, 推荐, 整饰; vi. 修饰
2. bride: n. 新娘
3. peek: n. 一瞥, 匆忙看过; v. 偷看
4. confront: vt. 使面临, 对抗
e.g.: The prisoner was confronted with his accusers. 犯人被带来与原告对质。
He isn't really your dad (他并不是你真正的父亲)
One day a girl brings home her boyfriend and tells her father she wants to marry him. After talking to him for a while, he tells his daughter she can't do it because he's her [color=Red]half brother[/color]. The same problem happens again four more times! The girl starts to get [color=Red]pissed off[/color]. She goes to her mom and says:" Mom..What have you been doing all your life? Dad's been going around laying evry [color=Red]maiden[/color] in the town and now I can't marry any of the five guys I like because they have turned out to be my half brothers!!!"Her mom replies:" Don't worry, darling, you can marry any one of them if you wantk, he isn't really your dad."
参考翻译：
一天，女孩把男朋友带回家，告诉父亲自己要嫁给他．和男孩谈了一会之后，父亲告诉女儿他们不能结婚，因为男孩是他同父异母的兄弟．同样的事情又发生了四次之后，女孩忍无可忍了，去找她母亲说：＂妈妈，你们这一辈子都干了什么啊？爸爸和镇上所有的女人都有过孩子，现在我不能和５个我喜欢的男孩中的任何一个结婚，因为他们都成了我同父异母的兄弟！＂
母亲回答说：＂别担心，亲爱的．你可以和任何一个你喜欢的男孩结婚，因为他并不是你真正的父亲．＂
注释：
1.half brother:n. 同父异母兄弟,同母异父兄弟 half sister 同父异母姐妹
2.piss off: 忍无可忍，滚开
piss:v. 小便, 撒尿弄湿; n.小便
3.maiden: n. 少女, 处女; adj. 未婚的, 纯洁的, 处女的, 无经验的
The happiest hour of my life (一生中最幸福的一小时)
During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded her husband:" Do you remember when you [color=Red]proposed[/color] to me, I was so [color=Red]overwhelmed[/color] that I didn't talk for an hour?" The [color=Red]hubby[/color] replied:" Yes, honey, that was the happiest hour of my life."参考翻译：
一对夫妇的银婚纪念日，妻子对丈夫说：＂当时你向我求婚，我完全不知所措，整整一个小时说不出话来，还记得吗？＂丈夫回答：＂当然，亲爱的。那是我一生中最幸福的一小时．＂
注释：
1. propose: vt. 计划, 建议, 向...提议, 求(婚); vi. 打算, 求婚
2. overwhelm: vt. 淹没, 覆没, 受打击, 制服, 压倒
3. hubby: n. 丈夫
The goldfish died (金鱼死了)
Little John was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor [color=Red]peered[/color] over the fence. Interested in what the boy was doing, he politely asked, "What are you up three, John?""Well, my goldfish died,"replied John, without looking up, "and I've just [color=Red]buried[/color] him."
The neighbour was [color=Red]concerned[/color], "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
John [color=Red]patted[/color] down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat!"
参考翻译：
小约翰在院子里挖洞，邻居透过栅栏看见了，很感兴趣，于是就礼貌地问道：＂约翰，你在那儿干嘛啊？＂
＂我的金鱼死了，＂约翰头也没抬，回答说，＂我刚把它埋了．＂
邻居来了兴趣，问道：＂那个洞对一条金鱼来说也太大了点，是吧？＂
约翰拍上最后一抔土，接着说：＂因为它在你的猫肚子里．＂:funk:
注释：
1. peer:n. 同等的人, 贵族; vi. 凝视, 窥视; vt. 与...同等, 封为贵族
2. bury: vt. 埋葬, 掩埋, 隐藏
3. concerned: adj. 关心的, 有关的
4. pat: n. 轻拍, (黄油)小块; v. 轻拍 Good!
Rock, your materials will be helpful for me.
My wife is an English teacher in Primary school and I think she can use this English Joke during her English Class. I can hear the laughter in her class now. :)
回复 195# 的帖子
My pleasure.:)The proper behavior (举止得体)
A priest at a [color=Red]parochial[/color] school, wanting to point out the proper [color=Red]behavior [/color]for church, was trying to [color=Red]elicit[/color] from the boys rules that their parents might give before taking them to a nice restaurant. Boys answered as follow:"Don't play with your food," one second-grade boy cited.
"Don't be loud," said another, and so on.
"And what rule do your parents give you before you go out to eat?" the priest inquired of one little boy.
Without [color=Red]winking[/color] an eye, the child replied," Order something cheap."
参考翻译：
一位牧师在一所教区学校指点去教堂的正确举止，他让学生们说出父母带他们去高档餐厅之前叮嘱的话来引出他要传授的内容．男孩们回答如下：
一个二年级的男孩说道：＂不要玩你的食物．＂
另一个男孩接着说：＂不要高声说话．＂
＂那么你父母会在带你出去吃饭前定些什么规矩呢？＂牧师问一个小男孩．
男孩眼睛眨都不眨地回答：＂点便宜的菜．＂:lol
注释：
1. parochial: adj. 教区的, 地方范围的, 狭小的
2. behavior: n. 举止, 行为
3. elicit: vt. 得出, 引出, 抽出, 引起
4. wink: n. 眨眼, 使眼色, 瞬间, (星光等的)闪烁; vi. 眨眼, 使眼色, 闪烁, 打信号, 假装不见, 终止, 熄灭;
vt. 眨(眼) I thought rock must spend a lot of time to collect all these jokes. Thanks a lot!
If rock's joke could be graded 10, my joke is only 1 (very low level).
One day, President XXXX suffers from headache and he turns to a doctor.
After a while check:
President: "What's wrong with my head?"
Doctor:"Well. In your[color=red] left[/color] head, there is nothing [color=red]right[/color]."
President:" How about my [color=red]right[/color] head?"
Doctor:" Nothing [color=red]left[/color]."
I always think the foreign joke is too cold to bring laughter. Therefore, I seldom remember the content. [quote]原帖由 [i]恋上泥的代[/i] 于 2008-8-13 20:05 发表 [url=http://www.englishpub.cn/redirect.php?goto=findpost&pid=20719&ptid=324][img]http://www.englishpub.cn/images/common/back.gif[/img][/url]
I thought rock must spend a lot of time to collect all these jokes. Thanks a lot!
If rock's joke could be graded 10, my joke is only 1 (very low level).[/quote]
Good job!:handshake